Anyway, I'm thoroughly enjoying my non-breakfast burrito except that I am having difficulty with burrito physics. You know what I'm talking about. It's when all the filling works its way to the bottom of the burrito and starts to drip all over your hands and plate. I know this is one of those things that I can't change, but it annoys me anyway. I am eating while typing and I have to keep wiping my hands after every bite. Plus, I've had a few bites with hardly any filling, which is obviously the whole point of eating a burrito in the first place. If I wanted to eat a tortilla I would just just eat one plain from the fridge. Maybe there are more experienced burrito-eaters who do not have this problem, but it's something I cannot prevent.
Also, if "burrito eating" is a metaphor for something nasty in Urban Dictionary that is totally unintentional but might make this post extra hilarious. I'm too lazy/busy to check.