Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Super Low Pants

This post is going to make me sound like an old fogey, but I'm going to say it anyway. I hate when guys wear super low pants, so low that you can see their butt cracks. Here is a picture of a guy I saw walking down the street recently. I was trying to discretely snap this photo with my cell phone, so it's not the best and doesn't fully capture how low his pants were (and how much of his underwear I could see). But it inspired this post, so I thought I'd share.

Remarkable similarities to a toddler who just pooped their pants...

I hate even more when women wear low pants and then sit down and you can see their underwear (or lack thereof). This is especially unnerving in a professional setting! There was a girl in my medical school class who always sat at the front of the room during exams, and every time she stood up to turn in her exam, the whole class got a pretty clear view of her butt (sorry, no photo of that!). I wanted to pull her aside and say, "Hey, have you heard of these things called belts?"

Thursday, September 22, 2011

When All the Funny Parts Are in the Commercial

I hate when you see a commercial for a movie or a TV show and it looks hilarious and so you watch that movie or TV show and realize that the only funny parts were put into the commercial and the rest of the movie sucks. We've all been there and you know you hate it, too. It should really be considered false advertising.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

When People Do Not Seed Themselves Appropriately In Races

I did a 10K in Portland, ME this past weekend. It was a great race with an awesome post-race party of pizza and Shipyard beer. The course was flat and fast and was mostly along a scenic jogging path around a cove. The one downside, however, is that the course was quite narrow. Most of the time you could run around people by running on the grass, but there were a few places where this wasn't possible, such as when we ran over a bridge.

In any road race, the first mile is a pain as it is quite crowded. At this specific race, due to the narrow width of the course, it was especially crowded. To alleviate problems caused by this, the race director put out signs so that people could seed themselves according to how fast they expected to run per mile (eg. 7:00, 7:30, 8:00....10:30, 11:00, etc). This is a great practice, because the faster people will have to spend less time running around people who will be plodding along at the back of the back, and the people who are going to be running slower can feel more comfortable running with people of their own speed. This practice is not to humiliate the runners, or to make them feel badly about the fact they are running 10:30/mile compared to the winner who did approximately 5:15/mile. It's simply to make the race more organized and to prevent giant clusterf*cks.

Granted, there are occasionally people who do not run their expected time because they either have a terrible race or a fantastic race, and I'm not here to hate on them. If you get a nasty stomach cramp and slow to 10:00-pace from 7:00-pace, that totally sucks, and I'm sorry. But if you were training at 9:30/mile, there is pretty much no chance of you running 7:30s for the next 6.2 miles. As such, DO NOT STAND THERE! Yeah, I'm looking at you, old guy in the sweatsuit with the fanny pack! There is just no way you're about to run 7:30 miles in your tennis sneakers. Or you, man in viking hat and pleather pants. Seriously, don't be ashamed, but get yourself to the back of the pack (or at least, to the part of the pack where you belong). I'm certainly not a speedy runner, and know I have no business being in the front, which is why I stepped into the pack at 8:30/mile, right around where I expected to run.

So the next time you're at a race, don't start next to your former college cross country star boyfriend. Separate for a few minutes, and find the 9:00 group. You'll be happy you did, because faster runners won't have to give you nasty stares as they push by.

Friday, September 16, 2011

When People Steal Your Stuff at Work

I am specifically talking about people who steal your stuff in lab (since that's where I work). Even if it's just something as small as your styrofoam holder for 50mL falcon tubes and ice bucket, or as large as half of your pipettes or your dissection scissors. It's annoying, rude, and disrespectful. Seriously! And if you borrow it, make sure to put it right back so the owner doesn't have to run around halfway through an experiment trying to find something that they keep on their bench. I'm sure people in offices have the same problem with pens and staplers. So the moral of the story is, don't steal other people's things, even if they are technically owned by the business or lab.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

When Stores Put Christmas Stuff Out in September

I was watching the news this morning, and apparently some large store chains (Target, Costco, etc) are planning to put out Christmas merchandise this month. I love Christmas. Absolutely love it. The decorations, the joy of the time between Thanksgiving and and December 24 while you wait with anticipation, the Black Friday sale kick-off of the official holiday shopping season.... but starting the "Christmas season" in September totally undermines the novelty of the holiday. If it were Christmas all year round, it wouldn't be as special, and people wouldn't appreciate it as much. Seriously, stores, you are ruining Christmas. It's not even close to Halloween and you're putting out stockings and Santa statuettes?? You should be ashamed.

Monday, September 12, 2011

When You Can't Give a Sarcastic Answer

There are times when I really wish I were meaner. You may think I'm pretty mean, since I write a blog entirely about things I hate, but I usually am pretty quiet in public. Sometimes I really wish I could just give the obvious sarcastic answer though. Like the other day on the T, a seat opened up in front of me. I wasn't blocking access to it, and the train wasn't super crowded, and it was very obvious that there was a seat available. I chose not to sit down partially because I sit all day, but mostly because I had on my backpack and was carrying something else and it would have been too much effort to remove all that and sit. A guy, who clearly wanted to sit down, came up to me and said "Do you want to sit down?" I said, "No thank you." What I wanted to say was, "Obviously not because then I would have sat down in the seat that is literally right in front of me!"

Or when I'm working late, and this particularly irritating person in my office says, "You're still here?" Typical response from me: "Yup." Desired response: "No, I left hours ago. What you are currently seeing is a hallucination. The fact that you can see me means you are very ill, and you should take an extended vacation. For about 2 years until I'm not here any more."

Or when someone you dislike asks you for a favor. I of course say, "Sure thing." In my head, however, I'm thinking, "Yes I would just love to do you a favor. I only ask you for one in return. Since you are the loudest eater in the history of man kind, can you refrain from eating when you are in a 1-mile radius of me? Okay great!"

I know there have been many other instances but that's all I can think of at the moment. Feel free to share if you have any good ones.

Thursday, September 8, 2011


I was going to name this post "People Who Leave Garbage on the T" but then I realized all litter annoys me. It's just such a foreign notion to me to simply toss garbage on the floor, be it outside, in a train station or actually on the subway. Who are these heathens who were raised without this basic moral value that is imprinted on the other members of society?? You don't throw garbage on the floor/ground/grass/road/train tracks! It's that simple! There are garbage cans everywhere so just use them. Littering is disrespectful, dirty, and potentially dangerous. It also costs billions of dollars each year when cities have to pay people to pick up other people's crap. I once saw a man toss a can of diet coke out the window of his car. That was two offenses, because not only was he littering, he was also not recycling!

I am also annoyed by people who read the free Metro newspaper and then leave it on the seat next to them thinking, "Maybe someone will want to read it, so I'm really recycling." THAT IS FALSE. No one wants to read your newspaper. In fact, chances are, someone wants to sit there, but doesn't want to pick up your discarded newspaper and so they stand, even if their shoes are causing blisters on their feet. Here's what you do instead. Take your newspaper with you off the train, and either put it in the recycling containers that are in every station, or return it to another Metro stand for someone who actually wants to read the paper.

And don't even get me started on cigarette butts. Watching someone throw a still lit cigarette out of the window or down on the street makes me so angry.

I do have to say one final thing. A lot of people throw apple cores or other food stuffs out of their car windows while driving on the highway with the thought that they are biodegradable and that some hungry animal will eat it. This is just short term littering. Yes, it is worse to toss a plastic bag out of your window (or a soda can) but it is still littering to throw your orange peel or hamburger bun out the window. Plus, it trains animals that food can be found near highways which means they venture onto the roadways more often and get hit by cars more often and roadkill is gross looking, so keep your mushy grapes in the car until you get to a trash can.

We can work together to keep our streets beautiful! Or at least to keep me less angry.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Sprinklers on When it is Raining

Why oh why do some people put their sprinklers on when it is raining and has been for 2 days? I mean, really... It's completely unnecessary and wasteful. I know most people with built in sprinkler systems have them on an automatic timer, but there are two things wrong with that. 1. You can turn them off for a night if you know there will be a lot of rain; and 2. It's not like New England is known for its droughts! We typically get plenty of rain, and you don't need to be watering your lawn every other day. Set your sprinklers if your lawn looks a little drab, but otherwise leave it alone!