Thursday, July 29, 2010

The A*hole Who Honked at Me for Being in the Crosswalk

Okay, so it's like a million degrees outside with 400% humidity. Despite the heat I went for a walk to the dry cleaners and the bank. On my way back I have to cross a semi-busy road. Luckily for me, the state has generously placed a "State Law: Yield to Pedestrians in Crosswalk" sign at the intersection. I stepped into the crosswalk so that the oncoming traffic would be made aware of my intentions to cross the street (I know that while driving it can be difficult to judge what a pedestrian standing on the sidewalk is trying to accomplish). I stood there waiting for the cars to stop, when one guy driving by honked at me and waved for me to stand back. There are so many things wrong with this picture that I don't even know where to begin.

1. Although I was standing in the street I wasn't in the lane of traffic by any stretch of the imagination. If there had been a car parked where I was standing, I would have been on its roof, dead center. Plenty of room for this dude to pass.
2. If you are so concerned about my safety that you feel it necessary to honk and gesticulate furiously, then slow down or let me cross! Don't just honk and wave. That would not have protected me in case of an accident.
3. There are two crosswalks and a sign informing you that you are required by law to yield to me, a pedestrian in the cross walk. I understand that sometimes cars don't see a pedestrian until the last minute and you can't slow down in time to let them cross. But you, sir, had enough time to see me, process my presence, judge that I was perilously close to your car, honk, and frantically gesture me to back away. In my oh-so humble opinion, that is more than enough time for you to have stopped and let me cross.
4. Your car was a P.O.S.

In conclusion, that guy is a jerk and all sorts of other names. And I hate jerks!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Fake Airline Sales

I like to travel. Flying doesn't bother me, I don't mind taking my shoes off to go through security and I even don't hate airplane food (that is, if you even get any food). So I love when I get an email that says JetBlue or Southwest or whatever airline is having a big sale with flights to Orlando for $89 each way. That is very exciting to me because I am a poor graduate student and cheap flights could make it possible for me to escape Boston winter. After receiving one of these emails I rush to their website to see what dates would work for my fantasy trip to Disney World, only to find that you can't actually find this $89 flight. The cheapest one is actually $159 unless you fly out tomorrow morning and return tomorrow afternoon. This has happened to me so often that I no longer rush to the website with a twinkle in my eye, imagining myself meeting Mickey Mouse and seeing Cinderella's castle for the first time since I was 7. Now I just delete those emails right away in order to save myself the heartache. Besides, even if I did find a flight for $89 I'd probably have to pay that much just to check my bags...

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

People Who Wear Their Keys on Their Belts

I saw a girl riding her bike today and she had her keys clipped to her belt with a carabiner. This is a "fashion" statement that I do not understand. Unless you are a janitor or some other profession in which you must carry 1 gajillion keys and access them very quickly, what is the point of it???! Here are four reasons why you should never sport this look. First of all, they make a lot of noise with all their jingling. Secondly, it just looks terrible and weird. Thirdly, it seems so much more simple to just stick them in your bag and forget about them instead of hearing them jingle all day long. And finally, what if you lose your pants during the day?? Not only will you have lost your pants, but also your keys and you will be locked out of your house. While you are sitting pants-less on your front stoop waiting for a locksmith you will think to yourself, "Why did I not put my keys in my bag??" .
Although perhaps I am being insensitive. Maybe you are just trying to send the message that you like the bottom.

Monday, July 26, 2010

The T at the End of a Hot Day

The last few weeks (months? I am losing track of time) have been quite warm here in Boston. We're talking upper 80s or lower 90s and very high humidity. Needless to say, even a brief journey outside will leave you sweating. As a friend told me recently, it even makes you want to get to work just to be in the air conditioning. I'm not here to complain about sweaty people. Some people due to no fault of their own (usually) tend to sweat more than your average person. Overweight males tend to sweat more than the rest of us. People in really good shape will actually sweat more than average, too, because their cooling mechanisms are more efficient which allows them to workout longer and harder. That being said, there is nothing worse than being on the T during rush hour at the end of a particularly sweat-inducing day, having to press up against someone, and having your face forced into some guy's sweaty stinky armpit. Tall people may not understand this, but as I stand at only 5 foot 3.55 inches, I am at prime armpit height.
GROSS.
Okay that's all for now. I have to go get on the T.