Friday, February 26, 2010

All the People in my Building Who Shower at the Same Time as Me

My apartment building was constructed in the 1960s. Just ask my seafoam green bathroom. I'm pretty sure the boiler is the original one, so whenever too many people shower at the same time, the hot water becomes rather sparse. So, to all the people in my building who shower a little after 7am, I hate you. I am tired and not happy to be awake. I have to go to lab where my experiment is likely to fail. I have already tripped over one of my slippers, I have no clean clothes, and I just remembered I forgot to finish the reading for my 9am class. All I want to do is get into a warm shower and wake up to the delicious scent of my shampoo. But no. All of you have decided to shower at the same moment, so even though I have the water turned to a setting that is normally scalding, the water is still tepid at best. So thanks for making the start to my day worse than it already is. I don't know who you are, so I can't give you dirty looks when we're checking our mail or at the next condo association meeting, but you can bet I am wishing very nasty things to happen to you while I take my lukewarm shower.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Field and Stream Magazine

Somehow I got on the email list for Field and Stream magazine. Their website advertises that the magazine is about "Hunting, Fishing, Survival, Guns and Gear." Not only do I not hunt or fish, but I don't even eat anything that is hunted or fished. I'm really not their target demographic. I asked to be removed from the mailing list but I have continued to receive emails from them about once a month. It's not particularly irritating, especially since they are relatively infrequent and Gmail now puts them in my spam, but it just seems like an intrusion and I shouldn't have to opt out multiple times. So now I hate Field and Stream (as if I was such a fan before).

Jessie (the research assistant in my lab) said that potentially someone signed me up as a joke and then forgot they signed me up and forgot to laugh about it, so if anyone ever reads this and it was you, please tell me. I promise not to write a hate entry about you.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Double Parking

I hate double parkers. Seriously. What a selfish act. Whatever the fine is for double parking, it is obviously not large enough because people do it all the time. If the punishment for being double parked was losing a digit, no one would double park.

Anyone who lives in Allston/Brighton/Brookline that has to drive downtown in the mornings knows that Comm Ave is the worst for double parkers. FedEx, USPS, electricians, random people, taxis, delivery trucks, moving vans, more random people... you can't drive in the right lane because every block has someone double parked and blocking the lane, but you can't drive in the left lane because of the people turning left and clogging up that lane... it's such a horrible drive. And if you are on a bike, you are just toast, because the drivers are now more angry than usual, so even if you are obeying traffic laws (like you should be since you are a vehicle! but that hate is a different entry for another day), they will try to hit you because someone else blocked their way.

Another thing I hate about double parking, is this: you get stuck behind someone who is double parked, so you put on your blinker and wait for traffic in the next lane to clear. Then the person behind you pulls out into the next lane to pass, even though you clearly had your blinker on and wanted to move into that lane. UGGHHH that makes me so angry. OBVIOUSLY I wanted to turn. I even had my blinker on, you JERK!

I have decided that I would be a terrible police officer because I would see someone double parked and just yell at them for being a selfish a-hole. "Do you realize that you are disrupting traffic for the 100 cars behind you?? Do you realize that you just made their days a little worse because you couldn't be troubled to go find yourself a parking space on the next block? Do you realize that I'm going to have to chop off your pinky toe now???" Okay maybe that last question would only come into play if I was a police officer and ruler of the world. But then again if I ruled the world we would also get free cookies on Friday. So not only would no one double park (unless they had no hands or feet, in which case they probably wouldn't be driving anyway) but we'd also be munching on some free Oreos. The world would be a much better place.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

People who Stand Right in Front of Elevator Doors

This is the hate that started it all.

I work on the 9th floor of my building, so I use the elevator on a daily basis. I use it to go up and down and I often use the elevator several times in a day if I need to go to a different building to go to class or to pick up some lunch or go to the library or whatever. I think there are a lot of people out there who are just like me, who use elevators on a somewhat regular basis. So it never fails to astound me that some people don't know how to use elevators.

I continually see people waiting for the elevator and then once the little bell rings to signal the car has arrived, the person walks up to the doors and stands directly in front of them. This effectively prevents anyone on the elevator from getting out because the doorway is blocked. Then, when you try to exit, the person blocking the doorway rolls their eyes and steps to the side and then both of you are annoyed. This whole interaction could have been avoided, however, if people just did not stand directly in front of the elevator. It doesn't take any extra time to stand 3 feet to the left of the doorway. Trust me. Plus, these people are forgetting that they will be in the opposite role in 30 seconds!

So, people, please do not block the doorway to the elevators. It's annoying, irritating, stupid and it makes me hate you.