Tuesday, December 21, 2010

People who Would Steal from Toys for Tots

SERIOUSLY?! What kind of JERK would steal from a company that gives toys to poor kids? That is just about the worst crime in the whole world. The only way this could possibly have been worse, was if they stole from poor kids who also have cancer. I don't know who actually did the stealing, but it was probably the Grinch.

Friday, December 17, 2010

When People Park in My Parking Spot

In the town where I live there is no overnight parking. It's a bit of a pain when you have guests, or need to park your own car, but I guess it's nice since there are no snow emergencies where you have to scramble to find a place for your car, and no one is going to take your mirror off when they try to squeeze by. Luckily, my apartment building has parking on the side of the building, but you rent it from the condo association for $95 a month. You may think this is a lot if you're not from Boston, but trust me that's not so bad. Some spots will be $200 or more per month.
Anyway, I have this spot that I pay for. So it drives me absolutely insane when I arrive home and some strange car is in my spot. First of all, the spot is in a driveway that is clearly not a street. Secondly, there is a sign that says "Private parking. Violators will be towed." Thirdly, the spots are numbered so it is even more obvious that the spots are assigned to people. And lastly, I'm not even the spot closest to the street, so people had to have seriously been looking. It is SO frustrating to come home from the gym in the morning or to come home after a late meeting and have no where to park. Sometimes it is a delivery person (in which case, they should just park on the street because there is no restriction about parking on the street for a few minutes). Other times, it is just a random car. If you are ever with me when this happens, you will see my true wrath. Seriously, this might be one of the things I hate the most.
On a scale of 1-10, how mean would it be to let the air out of one of their tires? Or does anyone know where I could get a boot for cheap?

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Cold Bitter Wind

Today is 18 degrees, but with the 20mph wind it feels like 1. I could put up with the cold, honestly I could, but this wind is just killing me! Yesterday it was so windy that I needed help opening the door to the Boylston T station and another girl lost control of her door and it closed on her arm. She could barely open it back up to get it off! Luckily she was okay but it shouldn't be that windy. It's just cruel! The wind goes right through your clothes and chills you to the very core and makes you depressed. Well, it does to me anyway. If I had more food here I'd consider sleeping at school so I didn't have to go outside.

Monday, December 13, 2010

"Hollow Sidewalk. Do Not Park On the Sidewalk" Signs

I don't know if you have ever seen those signs that tell people not to park on the sidewalk because it is hollow. I don't get it. Maybe it's just me, but I kind of thought you weren't supposed to park on the sidewalk in general, hollow or not. People are stupid.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Forced Acronyms

If an acronym works and is creative, that's fantastic. I did a semester with Sea Education Association (aka SEA) which is a great acronym because it wasn't forced and the acronym spells out the subject of the semester. Awesome! However, when people start forcing acronyms such that they need to take letter from within words, I get angry. Like today I saw an article about the LOTUS study. You know what those letters stand for? LOng Term follow up after intra-Uterine transfusionS. Not only did the creators of this acronym take letters from within words, they also borrowed the very last letter of a word. UNACCEPTABLE. I guess LTFAIUT doesn't have the same ring to it as LOTUS, but still... GAH that made me so mad.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Celebrities who are Famous for No Reason

I look at the tabloids from time to time, whether I'm on a long flight or just a slow moving line at the grocery store. There are some celebrities who are famous for literally no reason. Think the Kardashians, Paris Hilton, Ryan Seacrest... I guess Ryan Seacrest is famous because he hosts American Idol, American Top 40 on the radio, and practically every Hollywood event, but he's annoying so I put him in this category. I admire people who earn fame because of talent or hardwork, or both, so it annoys me when people are famous just because they are super rich or do cocaine.

Monday, November 22, 2010

When People don't Have Their T Pass Out Despite The 10 Minute Wait

This was pointed out to me by a friend of mine (Thanks, Matt!) and it recently happened to me and so I thought I'd complain about it. Sometimes the T (that's the subway for you non-Boston people) takes a while to arrive. I'm on the C line and so there isn't much to do while you're waiting for the T. You can watch passing traffic. You can grab a copy of the Metro. You can listen to your iPod or read a book or send a text message or play a game on your smart phone. But apparently, what some people cannot do, is get their T pass out from the deepest darkest depths of their purses and backpacks. Seriously, folks. We've been waiting 10 minutes. It was bound to show up sometime (I know sometimes I too have doubts, but however long it may take, the T almost always does actually arrive). Why not use the time you spend waiting for the T to actually prepare to board the T? You don't have to stand there waiving your CharlieCard around in the air, but perhaps move it to a jacket pocket or to the top of your purse for easy access. This way when it is rainy and freezing, we can board the train in the most efficient manner possible, instead of having to wait for your stupid self to find your damn T pass. It just seems like common sense to me but then again some people just don't have any.

Monday, November 15, 2010

The Poodle Haircut

Seriously. WTF is up with that traditional poodle haircut. Who came up with that?! It looks ridiculous! Although I guess it could be worse. Those poor dogs...

Saturday, November 13, 2010

People Who Don't Yield to Emergency Vehicles

I go to school right next door to a hospital. In fact, technically, the building I am in is part of the hospital. As you could imagine, I see a lot of ambulances. And, because we are in the middle of a city, there are a lot of cars, bicycles, trucks, pedestrians, motorcycles, etc. constantly around. It bothers me to no end when these people do not move out of the way for an approaching ambulance, police car or fire truck with their lights on. One thing I see over and over is people running to cross a street in front of an ambulance when all of the cars have stopped to let it pass through. I don't know what these people are thinking. If their thoughts include "Hey, if I get hit at least it is by an ambulance" they deserve to get run down. First of all, have you considered just how large an ambulance is? That would hurt beyond all belief. Secondly, ambulances are going quite fast as they speed to a person's aid. And thirdly, the EMTs inside are already helping someone. Do you think they are going to pull over while giving someone CPR in the back, and see if you are okay? No. They are just going to radio in your injury and you will have to lie there on the pavement bleeding and crying about how stupid you are while another ambulance is dispatched for your injured ass. If I had to be hit by a car I'd pick a Smart Car because those things only weigh like 50lbs.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Stupid Little Injuries that Hurt an Insane Amount

You know exactly what I mean. It's those times you barely nudge the corner of the table and it feels like you just got stabbed in the leg. The three main injuries-out-of-proportion-with-the-pain that come to mind immediately are stubbing your toe, biting your tongue and getting a paper cut. I just did the middle of those and it is so annoying! Why were we designed this way?! Why do tiny little cuts and the like hurt so badly? Shouldn't serious injuries, like your arm falling off, be saved for large amounts of pain?

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Powdered Donuts

Honestly, who likes those powdered donuts that come in the multi-pack? Sitting there next to chocolate glazed, the powdered look pathetic. I'd even take the plain one over the powdered! Whenever there are multiple types of donuts around, the powdered ones are the last to go. I honestly have no idea why donut makers even bother putting them in the multi-pack. They're gross. And why does this spell-checker not recognize the word "donut" but "donuts" is okay?

Friday, October 15, 2010

People who Cut You Off When You are Trying to Exit the Highway

This annoys me to no end. I have my blinker on, there is an exit rapidly approaching and instead of letting me move over, you intentionally speed up so I can't switch lanes. Oh, what, you didn't see my blinker as you hit the gas pedal? You just happened to speed up at the exact time I planned to maneuver into the right lane? Yeah.... Well..... F-ck you, Clown!*



*if you don't get the reference, ask my SEA C-195 friend Kate. She has a great joke to tell you...

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Loud Chewers

I hate hate HATE when people chew loudly. Really, people, how difficult is it to keep your mouth shut when you are eating. You have been eating solid food at least 3 times a day since you were approximately 1 years old, so by now you have had lots of practice. It baffles me that some people make horrifying and nauseating noises during eating and no one has thought to tell them. Not once in their entire life did some kind soul say, "Hey, I gag a little every time we eat together. Can you try to keep your mouth closed? Thanks."

There are exceptions, to this, of course: when you have a bad cold and you cannot breathe through your nose, I will give you a minor pass, but you should also try to avoid eating around people since you are sick and probably contagious.

I was tragically reminded of this, one of my most hated pet peeves, this morning on the T when I stood next to a 9 year old girl with a giant wad of gum in her wide open mouth. [Side Note: Yes, I recognize that I sound just like my father did when I was 9 and had a giant wad of gum in my wide open mouth and we were going on some kind of road trip but we all turn into our parents some day, I'm just embracing it early on.] I'm not sure why her mother didn't grab her and say, "HEY! You are chewing so loudly that this kind, patient, gorgeous lady next to you [read: me!] can hear you over her iPod. Spit out the gum!"

Probably the worst case of loud eating was one of my old roommates. I'll call her Ugly Face for lack of a better nickname. She used to eat frozen lasagna so loudly that I could hear her across the apartment. "How can you eat lasagna loudly," you might be wondering, "it's such a soft meal." Well, Ugly Face managed it, smacking her tongue around, chewing with her mouth open, and making all sorts of disgusting mushy noises.

So the next time you eat a meal with any other person, especially if it is me, try to be aware of the noises you make. If you can't seem to control your mouth's unfortunate soundtrack, don't be too insulted when I glare at you the entire meal.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Pee on the Seat

Boys will not understand this, since you don't have to pop a squat to do your business, but there is nothing more irritating than having to pee and seeing someone else's urine all over the seat. It's so easy to just grab a little extra TP and wipe off the seat, that I'm not sure why this happens at all. Recently, this has been occurring in my office, and although I don't know who it is, I have my suspicions. There are 8 women who use our bathroom, so there aren't a lot of people to accuse. It's just a common courtesy to leave the toilet pee-free. Just remember Ladies: If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat. And also, flush and wash your hands, because skipping those parts is gross, too.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Speed Limit Signs when You Are Stuck in Traffic

First of all, I hate traffic. I haven't written about that yet but I'm sure I will some day. But when you're stuck in traffic, there isn't anything worse than seeing a speed limit sign. It's like it's mocking you. "HA! HA! You could be going 65 but instead you're going 22. HA! HA!" :(

Monday, September 27, 2010

People Who Take the Elevator Up or Down One Floor

I hate people who take the elevator one floor. There are people I exempt from this, obviously, like really old people, anyone with a permanent or temporary disability, people carrying heavy things, people pushing carts or other wheeled objects, and in cases where the stairs are inaccessible or difficult to find. (You may laugh at the last case, but we have one building on campus where the elevators are front and center in the lobby but the stairs are in the wings and every time I try to find them I get lost, even though I have taken them down before. I honestly have no idea how to get to them from the first floor, so if I'm in that building and someone takes the elevator to the 2nd floor, even though that is the nutrition research floor, I don't think badly of them.)

But aside from those situations above, I get so annoyed when I'm trying to get to the 9th floor and someone gets in at 4 and presses the button for 5. I want to scream, "IT IS ONE FLOOR! It really isn't that difficult. Stop being so lazy and go up the stairs! That is why you are fat. Well, your laziness and what you ate for lunch. And I'd guess that you probably even waited longer for the elevator than it would have taken you to walk up the stairs." One time someone held the elevator door for me in my office building, and he said, "What floor?" When I said "9" he said "Oh, good. If you said '2' or '3' I was really going to regret holding the door for you." I wanted to high-five the man. Our secretary (who obviously had nothing to do with my previous post on bad secretaries) takes the elevator down one floor because of her "bad knees." I'm sure it has nothing to do with the 2 packs of cigarettes she smokes a day.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

When Bad Things Happen to Good People

It's not fair! I found out about two deaths this weekend and they both made me really sad :( And angry at the universe!

Bad Secretaries

I'm not sure how you can be bad at being a secretary but let me assure you that it's possible. I'm not sure how it is difficult to answer phones, make photocopies, and check on supplies all day but some people find it tricky. Here are a few completely hypothetical examples. Imagine a secretary who did not know how to save documents on a computer (when asked "What folder are you trying to save it in?" the secretary might reply, "What's a folder?") or a secretary who tied up the phone line talking loudly to her doctor about her recurring poison ivy problem and the steroid cream she needs a refill on. Imagine a secretary who receives personal calls at the expense of business calls, spends 2 hours at lunch, and takes a cigarette break every 30 minutes but refuses to admit that is where she is going (you might be able to tell she is smoking by the smell when she returns or perhaps the leather cigarette case she leaves on her desk). Imagine a secretary who despite being shown 4 or 5 times can still not operate a simple scanner. Imagine a secretary who talks to herself all day long and hangs pictures of cats all over the office. These examples are, as I already stated, completely hypothetical, obviously, because what kind of person would I be if I took advantage of some real secretary's stupidity? A mean person. And I hate mean people.

PS- She might also clip her nails at work and cook smelly cheesy broccoli in the office microwave.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Something I Love: Other People Hating Stupid People on Bicycles

Paul Levy, CEO of Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston, publishes a blog called Running a Hospital. Mostly he writes about health care and things that are happening in and around BIDMC, but occasionally he posts cool pictures from a beach or other topics. A recent one that I really liked complains/warns about people who listen to music on their bicycles. I hate a lot of things, but one thing I definitely do not hate is when other people hate the same things I do! So here is his blog post about people wearing headphones while riding their bicycles.

Running a hospital: Please don't do this!:
An article by Melena Ryzik in today’s New York Times, “Turn on (MP3s), Tune In and Ride,” presents the concept of expanding the “communal understanding about the pleasures of navigating the urban landscape” by having a “group bike ride with a shared route and a common soundtrack. . . . Riders equipped with MP3 players set off from the same point, pushing “play” simultaneously.”

Regular readers know that I am a biking aficionado. I will tell you, in no uncertain terms, that a bike rider with earphones is oblivious to the sounds of the road and is a hazard to himself and to others. It is hard to imagine a more dangerous way to ride, except for riding blindfolded.

I have presented, in other posts, data on the dangers of driving while on a cellphone. The neurological issue behind that danger is that human beings are not really that good at multi-tasking. I am not contending that such is the issue here. The issue here is that you simply do not hear things in the ambient environment when you are wearing earplugs.

While biking, I have approached people on the road and have called out the expected, “On your left,” as I prepare to pass them. People listening to music do not hear me. Then, as I pass, many of them swerve from the surprise. When I see those earbuds, I give extra berth because I know they might swerve into me. But sometimes, they swerve towards the curb where there can be road grates or other hazards. I have passed couples riding and listening together, who have almost collided with each other as I passed them.

Ok, so my voice is not very loud, but I have also witnessed bike riders who do not hear approaching trucks and buses as they listen to their iPods.

I am not talking here of people who blast the music at high volumes, like the ones you can hear across the aisle in a subway car. I am talking about normal music volumes.

So, please ride your bike with both ears open. Listen to music in another setting.

Posted by Paul Levy at 8/20/2010 10:39:00 AM on "Running a Hospital"

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

People Who Wear Sunglasses Inside

I just realized that half of the entries start with "People who..." But that's fine. I don't like people much. That's why I love babies. They aren't quite people yet.

On to the hate of the moment. I hate people who wear sunglasses inside. Unless you have a migraine or some other kind of photophobia, you look like a ridiculous tool. I was flying back from Oregon on Sunday and there was a guy on the plane wearing sunglasses. I thought maybe he was sleeping and just put them on to block out some of the light (even though the cabin was quite dim). But then he got up to go to the restroom and was still wearing his sunglasses. I don't get it! Granted, I don't always want to have a good look at an airplane bathroom, but you at least need to see where you are going. How else are you going to aim for the toilet??!

Then on the T this morning, I got into the car and the lights were off. We were above ground and it is a very sunny day so it wasn't such a big deal. I stood there reading my deliciously awesome trashy novel, sunglasses perched on the top of my head. Then we went into the tunnel. The lights in the car were still off. I don't know if any of you have ever experienced this, but with the lights off, it was really dark. Too dark to read. Too dark to see the opposite side of the car, except for all the people playing with their smart phones. And yet, at least 3 people on the T still had sunglasses on! One of them was definitely asleep, so he has a Get Out of Jail Free card. But this Asian chick sitting near the door was clearly wide awake (and potentially staring at me glaring at her but whatever) and still wearing sunglasses. What is the point except to pretend that your sunglasses somehow make you cooler than everyone else on the T. Let me tell you a little secret: YOU LOOK DUMB. And now I hate you.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

The A*hole Who Honked at Me for Being in the Crosswalk

Okay, so it's like a million degrees outside with 400% humidity. Despite the heat I went for a walk to the dry cleaners and the bank. On my way back I have to cross a semi-busy road. Luckily for me, the state has generously placed a "State Law: Yield to Pedestrians in Crosswalk" sign at the intersection. I stepped into the crosswalk so that the oncoming traffic would be made aware of my intentions to cross the street (I know that while driving it can be difficult to judge what a pedestrian standing on the sidewalk is trying to accomplish). I stood there waiting for the cars to stop, when one guy driving by honked at me and waved for me to stand back. There are so many things wrong with this picture that I don't even know where to begin.

1. Although I was standing in the street I wasn't in the lane of traffic by any stretch of the imagination. If there had been a car parked where I was standing, I would have been on its roof, dead center. Plenty of room for this dude to pass.
2. If you are so concerned about my safety that you feel it necessary to honk and gesticulate furiously, then slow down or let me cross! Don't just honk and wave. That would not have protected me in case of an accident.
3. There are two crosswalks and a sign informing you that you are required by law to yield to me, a pedestrian in the cross walk. I understand that sometimes cars don't see a pedestrian until the last minute and you can't slow down in time to let them cross. But you, sir, had enough time to see me, process my presence, judge that I was perilously close to your car, honk, and frantically gesture me to back away. In my oh-so humble opinion, that is more than enough time for you to have stopped and let me cross.
4. Your car was a P.O.S.

In conclusion, that guy is a jerk and all sorts of other names. And I hate jerks!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Fake Airline Sales

I like to travel. Flying doesn't bother me, I don't mind taking my shoes off to go through security and I even don't hate airplane food (that is, if you even get any food). So I love when I get an email that says JetBlue or Southwest or whatever airline is having a big sale with flights to Orlando for $89 each way. That is very exciting to me because I am a poor graduate student and cheap flights could make it possible for me to escape Boston winter. After receiving one of these emails I rush to their website to see what dates would work for my fantasy trip to Disney World, only to find that you can't actually find this $89 flight. The cheapest one is actually $159 unless you fly out tomorrow morning and return tomorrow afternoon. This has happened to me so often that I no longer rush to the website with a twinkle in my eye, imagining myself meeting Mickey Mouse and seeing Cinderella's castle for the first time since I was 7. Now I just delete those emails right away in order to save myself the heartache. Besides, even if I did find a flight for $89 I'd probably have to pay that much just to check my bags...

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

People Who Wear Their Keys on Their Belts

I saw a girl riding her bike today and she had her keys clipped to her belt with a carabiner. This is a "fashion" statement that I do not understand. Unless you are a janitor or some other profession in which you must carry 1 gajillion keys and access them very quickly, what is the point of it???! Here are four reasons why you should never sport this look. First of all, they make a lot of noise with all their jingling. Secondly, it just looks terrible and weird. Thirdly, it seems so much more simple to just stick them in your bag and forget about them instead of hearing them jingle all day long. And finally, what if you lose your pants during the day?? Not only will you have lost your pants, but also your keys and you will be locked out of your house. While you are sitting pants-less on your front stoop waiting for a locksmith you will think to yourself, "Why did I not put my keys in my bag??" .
Although perhaps I am being insensitive. Maybe you are just trying to send the message that you like the bottom.

Monday, July 26, 2010

The T at the End of a Hot Day

The last few weeks (months? I am losing track of time) have been quite warm here in Boston. We're talking upper 80s or lower 90s and very high humidity. Needless to say, even a brief journey outside will leave you sweating. As a friend told me recently, it even makes you want to get to work just to be in the air conditioning. I'm not here to complain about sweaty people. Some people due to no fault of their own (usually) tend to sweat more than your average person. Overweight males tend to sweat more than the rest of us. People in really good shape will actually sweat more than average, too, because their cooling mechanisms are more efficient which allows them to workout longer and harder. That being said, there is nothing worse than being on the T during rush hour at the end of a particularly sweat-inducing day, having to press up against someone, and having your face forced into some guy's sweaty stinky armpit. Tall people may not understand this, but as I stand at only 5 foot 3.55 inches, I am at prime armpit height.
GROSS.
Okay that's all for now. I have to go get on the T.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Taxi cabs

OMG I hate taxis. I hate them when I am walking, I hate them when I am driving, I hate them when I am in them, and I especially hate them when I am riding my bike. Here is an example of why I hate taxi cabs when I am riding my bike: THEY ALWAYS TRY TO RUN ME OVER! I'm not kidding.

Picture this scenario: It's 5:15am on a Tuesday morning. It's a beautiful day and I'm riding my bike down Beacon Street in Brookline (two lanes, for those of you who don't know the streets of Boston). I'm cruising along in the right half of the right lane, minding my own business. An SUV approaches from behind me, courteously moves into the empty left lane, and continues on its way. A few minutes later, a taxi drives up behind me. The driver remains in the right lane despite the road being completely empty, does not move over at all, comes within 18 inches of me, and speeds off on his merry way. I mean WTF?!?! The road is literally empty except for the two of us. 18 inches may seem like a decent amount of space at first glance, but hold out your hand to the left at 18 inches (that is 1.5 feet). Now imagine that your hand is a giant car going 35mph, and all that separates you and said car is air and a thin layer of spandex. NOT OKAY! And it's not just one cabbie that has done this to me; it has happened on numerous occasions.

Another scenario: A taxi blocks the bicycle lane so that two cabbies can be parked next to each other and have a little conversation about GPS systems or car air fresheners or whatever it is that cab drivers chat about. For real people?? Park your car, and get out of it. Or go sit in one car. Stop blocking the bike lane! It's a bike lane, not a "chatty cabbie" lane. This is additionally offensive to me because they are double parked. I have already established just how much I hate that.

Yet another scenario: I was doing hill repeats on Summit Avenue in Brookline earlier this week. If you have never been up Summit, it is a huge monster of a hill with a 14% grade on most of it (my dad measured it, so I know that for a fact). Basically, it's steep and it's really hard to ride a bicycle up once, let alone 8 times. So here I am riding up and down this hill. A cab driver pulls over on the side to pick up someone who looked like she was going to the airport. Okay, that is fine, you are just doing your job. The passenger runs back inside because she must have forgotten something or had to pee, and I pass by 4 times or so while the cab waits. Then on time number 6 up the hill, another cab driver speeds up the hill past me and my sweaty red face, immediately cuts in front me of me and stops next to original cab to have a chat. I am forced to quickly turn to avoid him (it is very very difficult to stop and start on a steep hill). I was Angry with a capital A.

A final scenario: Cab cuts in front of me without a signal and makes a quick right turn. That has happened to me numerous times and luckily I have not gotten right hooked. But the point is, I could have. Right hooks can be deadly. It pisses me off to no end that incidents like this happen to me ALL THE TIME, and a good portion of the time it is a taxi. It makes me want scream "I hate everything in the entire world!!!"

Anyway, that's why I hate all f-ing cabs.

Monday, May 24, 2010

When People Stand Too Close to You While Waiting In Line

Schoolwork has been keeping me too busy to write about all the things I hate, but yesterday I decided I hated that so here I am. Plus, yesterday I really hated something enough for me to put homework down for a few minutes.

I was waiting at CVS to pick up a prescription. There is a little counter and when it's your turn you approach the counter, talk to the pharmacist, get your meds and go on your merry way. I didn't have any particular questions about the medication I was picking up, but sometimes people do. Like the time I thought I had Lyme Disease and my doctor put me on doxycycline just in case. I had a whole bunch of questions because I was told not to eat dairy but then the pill bottle said not to eat anything. (As a side note, if you ever have to go on Doxy, don't take it on a totally empty stomach. Eat a few crackers. It is quite rough on the stomach and booting at school is pretty lame.) Anyway, long story short, I had to ask the pharmacist some questions. Doxycycline isn't really a medication that people would be embarrassed about, but sometimes people have to go on somewhat embarrassing medications. Eg. Viagra, Plan B, Prozac, Flomax... or maybe a person had a question about an over the counter medication such as yeast infection treatment or hemorrhoid cream. For this reason while at a pharmacy and waiting in line for your turn it is courteous to stand back several feet while the person ahead of you is speaking with the pharmacist. So why did the man yesterday insist on not only declining to give me enough room for privacy but stand so close to me that he was almost touching me?? The same thing happened at Trader Joe's later that day. Maybe it was the same jerk, I don't know, I didn't see his face. At TJs there isn't exactly the same issue of privacy, but seriously, you do not need to be standing in my shadow. The line will not go any faster if you step on the back of my shoe or hit me in the back repeatedly with your basket full of nuts and dried fruit. I'm not saying you should stand 4 feet back, but please, give me at least a foot! Sometimes I will back up suddenly and try to step on the person's toes just to let them know their behavior is inappropriate.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Recycling Failures

I'm not actually that smart. If you read my post about how I can forget things right in front of my door, you probably already agree with that statement. Or maybe this story will convince you: Last weekend after a road trip, I went to go pull my bags out of the trunk and in the process I lost my car keys. I knew they couldn't have gone far because we had literally just pulled up to my building. I checked my pockets repeatedly, checked in the car, emptied my purse, looked under the car, under the seats, in the trunk... I was panicking thinking that some how I had dropped them, not heard them fall (recall my ability to go temporarily deaf, blind and unbalanced from the post cited above), and then someone walking by had stolen them thinking I would not notice. Well, they were actually in the key slot for the trunk because I had used them to unlock my trunk. Yes, literally right in front of my face.

Despite the fact that I should probably not be allowed out in public without a chaperone who can help me find my lost items and keep me from hating on everything that crosses my path, I have managed to figure out the complex system that is recycling. I know it's tough, deciding whether something is garbage, paper or plastic/glass/metal, but if I have mastered this concept, I'm sure the people of the world can, too. I'm not sure why it is so difficult to tell the difference between paper and plastic, but it seems to be a common problem in society.

Here is an example of a recycling fail that made me particularly angry. Last night I went to empty my recycling into the communal recycling bin in my building. There is one person on my floor who does not understand the concept of recycling. I often walk in the little garbage room to find a Trader Joe's paper bag full of recyclable and non-recyclable items all jumbled together. Used paper plates, newspapers, wrappers, milk jugs, water bottles, toilet paper rolls... just all in one bag. Last night I took a little peek in the bag as I was adjusting it to make room for my own plastic/glass/metal things, and I found a full, unopened container of buttermilk. The issues I have with this finding are numerous. First of all, that buttermilk could have been used to make delicious pancakes. Secondly, milk/juice containers like that go in paper recycling. And thirdly, you can't recycle a full container of something. Okay? You can't recycle the actual buttermilk, just the container it is in. You can't take old buttermilk and melt it down to make recycled buttermilk. It doesn't work that way. It would have taken about 30 seconds to open the container, pour it down the sink (or into pancake batter which would have been my choice but whatever), give the container a little rinse, and put it in the paper recycling.

Recycling fails always make me angry. I just don't understand why it seems so complicated to people. You can look up specific information for your town which describes exactly what you can (eg. newspaper) and cannot (eg. used paper plates) recycle. They even make little charts with pictures on them. But perhaps the person described above needs just a little more help. Perhaps some of you out there reading this need some help with your own recycling. In order to help you, I created a simple little test so you can tell the difference between the two main types of recycling. Have someone hurl the item in question at your head. If it hurts a lot, put it in the plastic/glass/metal bag. If it doesn't hurt so much, put it in paper. If you live alone I would be happy to assist you with this project by throwing your recyclables at your head. It's the least I can do. Just let me find my keys...

Update (July 29, 2010): Last night the recycling bin contained a whole plastic plant, with the ceramic pot and wicker basket included. I think it was from the same geniuses who brought us the buttermilk incident, but I have little to no proof. I have since drafted a poster instructing people what they can (magazines! empty boxes! soda cans!) and cannot (Light bulbs! Buttermilk! FAKE PLANTS!) recycle.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

When You Leave Something By Your Front Door and Forget it Anyway

Last night I had to go to a meeting at the state medical society. I didn't want to be late so I specifically left extra early to account for rush hour traffic. I got on the Pike and started driving, thinking to myself how traffic was bad but not horrible and that I should get there in plenty of time. I was about 15 minutes into my drive when I came to a horrible realization. The shopping bag full of end-of-the-year gifts for which I was responsible was still in my apartment. I cursed a lot and then got off at the next exit, only to realize I wasn't exactly sure where I was. Of course then all of the traffic lights were against me, people kept cutting me off, and I cursed a lot more on my way home. I finally rush in the door, grab the bag, run back outside, and go on my way. I managed to only be 20 minutes late to the meeting despite all of this because I had left so early in the first place, but still... I was supposed to be early.
I wish I could say that this was a one-time event, but it wasn't. This happens to me all the time. I still don't know how I can place something immediately in front of the only door to my apartment and still ignore it on the way out the door. I must have literally done a flying leap out of my apartment last night because that is the only way I could have avoided tripping over the bag on my way out. Or I temporarily lost all of my senses so that I was blind and couldn't see the bag, deaf so I couldn't hear myself tripping on the bag, and without my inner ear's sense of balance so that I could not feel myself falling over. It frustrates and angers me to no end that I have this incredible talent for ignoring all objects in my path to the front door, because I have to turn around at least 2-3x a month to get something I have forgotten. This morning I forgot my T pass and had to turn around halfway to the T stop to go get it. You may think this is not a big deal but someone let me into medical school and I'm pretty sure forgetfulness is not really a desirable skill for a doctor.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Hard Butter at Restaurants

Imagine you are at a restaurant, and you are really hungry and your waiter places a basket full of delicious bread right in front of you. He puts down a small plate of butter and you take a soft fluffy piece of bread and a pat of butter. You open the butter only to discover it's practically frozen and totally unusable. Now the dilemma: do you wait for the butter to soften a little by holding it in your hands, all the while salivating over the delicious bread, or just put little chunks of the butter on your bread and resign that it won't live up to your high expectations? I'm sure this is a somewhat complex problem to overcome in the restaurant business, because it seems like only high-end places can get the butter at an appropriate temperature. It probably takes a complicated procedure of removing the butter from the fridge so that it is soft but not melted when it is served. You probably can't leave it out all the time because the heat of the kitchen might cause it to liquefy. No, taking it out of the fridge at the beginning of the evening and placing it back in the fridge at the end of the day is probably too much to ask. Or perhaps you like watching people spread hard butter on soft bread and tearing holes in the tasty bread. Either way I hate it.

Monday, April 26, 2010

When Professors Assign Work at the Last Minute

I got an email last night at midnight from a professor who wants the class to read a paper for discussion in his lecture. Which is tomorrow early afternoon. Seriously? You have to give more than 36 hours heads up for assignments. What if I had a big experiment today (which I almost did), or a 30 page paper due tomorrow (which I actually do)? You can't just assume that us graduate students are sitting around waiting for work to be assigned to us. I know it only takes max an hour to thoroughly read a paper of this length, but you have to give us a little more notice. Plus it also makes you look irresponsible and makes me respect you less. So plan your lectures slightly further in advance than 36 hours, and I won't have to put you on my blog again.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Scrunchies

Dear Women of the World, Back in the 1980s there were a series of poor fashion trends made by the entire world. Such items included neon nail polish, jog suits, and acid wash jeans. Luckily, most of these have disappeared from the fashion lexicon. However, scrunchies seem to not have disappeared quite yet. I know they are less likely to be caught in your hair and are more gentle, but really, ladies... they are just not attractive. One of my old roommates and I always text each other when we see scrunchies because they are so ridiculous looking. There is a girl in one of my classes and she wears a scrunchie every day. Sometimes in class I get so distracted by it that I lose track of what is happening in lecture. I'd like to take her aside after class one day and hand her a package of regular hair ties, and let her know what's up.
Once, on a bus in Boston, I saw a girl with a scrunchie in her hair sitting right in front of me. I laughed about it to myself and then something caught my eye. I realized it was a pink tag. I thought that was pretty weird, because I didn't think scrunchies had tags, but then I realized the tag said "low rise small." On closer inspection it also said Victoria's Secret. I was like WHAT!?! It was a thong! A black lace THONG in her hair. Above is a picture I snapped with my cell phone. You can't see the tag unfortunately. But seriously, that is an extreme walk of shame right there. Did your hair look so bad that you had to put it up, and you were at a strange guy's apartment and didn't have a hair tie and you were so desperate that you put your thong on your hair??? That is really desperate. If there's one thing I hate more than scrunchies, it's underwear worn inappropriately as a scrunchie.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The Girl at my Gym who Wears Velour Sweatpants and a Sports Bra

I belong to the YMCA, and there are a fair share of strange people there sometimes. I'm sure I do some things that other people think are weird. But there is one girl at the gym who regardless of the season, always wears velour sweatpants and a sports bra with no shirt. For those of you not well versed about commonly used fabrics, Wikipedia describes velour as a "plush, knitted fabric or textile" that is "popular for warm, colorful casual clothing." Notice the emphasis on WARM. If you are so hot and warm at the gym while working out (and I know a thing or two about being warm and sweaty at the gym) that you feel it necessary to remove your shirt, why the F* are you wearing velour sweatpants?? I know for a fact that there are many brands of athletic clothing that make cooler alternatives, such as thin cotton pants or leggings. And, actually, you may not have heard, but the latest in gym wear are these funny things called shorts. They're like pants, but shorter. If you need more help with the concept of shorts, just let me know. I'd be glad to demonstrate their usage to you the next time we're at the Y. I'll bring an extra shirt for you.

UPDATE: This morning (April 15) she was at the gym wearing velour pants, a sports bra and a SKI CAP. SERIOUSLY?!?!?!

Friday, April 9, 2010

When Someone Sends You a Text Message and You Call Them Immediately Back and They Don't Answer

This issue was brought to my attention by Scott (thanks! :) ;) :0 :-D .... I know you heart those).

So this is about when someone sends you a text message and you immediately call them back and they don't answer. I just do not understand it. Where could you possibly have gone in the 27 seconds that passed since you sent me this text message? Did you suddenly think, "I know I just sent a text message with a question in it but I'm going to shut my phone off"? Did you decide not to have a cell phone and chuck it out of the window or something? Or maybe you just think phone calls are an unacceptable and outdated form of communication and chose to ignore my call. I just don't understand what could have possibly happened between your text and my phone call. If you send a text that merits a response (which I would dare to say is most of them) shouldn't you be prepared to receive a response in the near future and thus keep your phone somewhat close to you?? Maybe someone please explain this to me. I hate it and if you do it to me I will probably hate you, too.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Stupid People on Bicycles

I almost titled this entry "Cyclists" or "Bikers" but it's not that I hate all people on bicycles; I just hate the stupid ones. How do I know they are stupid? Here are just a few of the reasons:
  1. It's dusk or already dark and they have no lights on their bikes (which is a law).
  2. They are not wearing helmets
  3. They are wearing their iPods
  4. They are riding against traffic (against the law)
  5. They are running through lights and almost mowing down pedestrians (2 more broken laws)
If you are riding a bike, it is your responsibility to understand the laws that pertain to you, as well as some basic safety information to keep yourself from getting run over. I bought a bike a year and a half ago and before I got out on the roads I did a little research about the rules of riding a bike. For example, did you know that when riding a bike, you are permitted to ride on the sidewalk in a residential area but not in a business area? There are many other easily-followable laws that I see people people f* up on a daily basis. As a service to the public, I will review some commonly ignored laws and provide a translation of that they mean:
  • You must obey all traffic laws and regulations of the Commonwealth. Translation: You are a vehicle and must stop at stop signs and red traffic lights. Don't just go flying through a red light because you're a on a bike and cars are scared to hit you. It's annoying and stupid and dangerous for everyone. Trust me, if you do get hit by a car, those skinny emo hipster jeans you are wearing will not offer much protection.
  • You must use hand signals to let people know you plan stop or turn. Translation: You have to tell people where you are headed or when you are about to stop. I know drivers in Mass don't often use their blinkers, and bikers complain about getting cut off by turning cars, but telling the vehicles around you will give them more notice about your own intentions. Hand signals are not exactly rocket science. USE THEM PEOPLE. Not using them is annoying and stupid and dangerous.
  • You must give pedestrians the right of way. Translation: When the little white walk man pops up, it is not your turn to go. Again, on a bike, you are a vehicle. Not a pedestrian, and definitely not some weird special combination of vehicle and pedestrian. So don't ride across an intersection trying to plow down as many pedestrians as you can. It's annoying and stupid and dangerous.
  • You must have your headlight and taillight on if you are riding anytime from 1/2 hour after sunset until 1/2 hour before sunrise. Translation: When it is dark, put on lights so that people can see you. Not like a dinky little flashlight, but a bright-ass, visible from far away light. Blinking lights are even better for visibility. Not using lights is annoying and stupid and dangerous (Are you getting the picture that not following the law is annoying stupid and dangerous?)
As you may have been able to determine from the above entry, cycling safety is very important to me. A large number of cyclists have been killed or seriously injured simply because cyclists and motorists do not follow the appropriate laws and basic safety precautions. For more information about how not to die while cycling look at http://bicyclesafe.com and http://www.massbike.org/resourcesnew/bike-law. Remember, when you are on a bike, it's your responsibility to avoid getting hit by cars, because, while it may legally be the fault of the driver, you will still be the dead one. In Massachusetts we have some of the worst drivers in America (NY is the worst) so it makes sense to me--but obviously not to 99% of people I see on bicycles--to try to do everything to minimize your risk of being run over. As my dad always says, ride like you are invisible (as opposed to riding like you are invincible). So the next time you hop on your bike, just be smart and follow the laws so that I won't have to hate you.

Update 5/11/10: See this great article in the Boston Globe about cyclists needing to earn the respect they are asking for.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

"This Car Climbed Mount Washington" Bumper Stickers

Maybe someone can explain the point of these bumper stickers to me. I just don't see what is so impressive and special about your car driving on a paved road, even if that road is up the tallest, baddest mountain in New England.

This website tries to suggest that the claim on the bumper stickers is "not an idle boast" by discussing the extreme weather found year-round at the top of Ol' Mount Washy, but I beg to differ. The people hiking up have to experience the exact same weather without the benefit of a car to keep them warm, dry, and out of the wind. Plus there is the whole climbing up a mountain thing to contend with in addition to the weather. If there was a bumper sticker reading "The driver of this car hiked up Mount Washington" (this one is pretty close) I would be totally okay with the display of public boasting. But there is no way I am impressed that your car drove on a paved road up a mountain. I'd be impressed if your car drove up Everest though, since that sucker ain't paved.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

The 800 Cars that Drove Passed me While I was Trying to Cross the Street in the Rain

(Disclaimer: 800 might be a slight over-exaggeration)

I understand that it is 6:15pm and you are tired after a long day of work and you are speeding to try to get home before another stupid Boston driver cuts you off. But I'm tired, too, and I'm waiting in the rain while you listen to music sitting in your warm, dry vehicle. I'm standing halfway into your lane so I know you can see me. Is it too difficult to take 30 seconds to slow down, and let me cross? I promise I'll walk really quickly because I know there is nothing worse than stopping to let someone cross and then they take half an hour to cross the road. I hate that.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Umbrellas

I hate umbrellas. You're probably thinking, "How can anyone hate such a useful accessory?" Well here is a list of all the reasons why I hate umbrellas.
  1. They are not useful. You don't actually stay dry when using an umbrella. Unless there is only a very slight drizzle, your pants will be soaked after more than a few minutes outside with an umbrella. I don't even think this umbrella would keep you dry enough. You would still have to wear a rain coat anyway. So why not just ditch the umbrella and wear your rain coat. This umbrella looks fairly effective, but you'd look ridiculous and it would be a pain in the neck to carry around.
  2. Once you arrive at your destination you have to carry around a dripping stick with fabric on it. This is especially irritating on the T during rush hour because then you are likely to drip on someone else's pants. Some restaurants and other places have little umbrella stands but then someone with a crappier umbrella than you is likely to steal it.
  3. Short women always carry them and hit you in the face. I work in Chinatown and that place is chock full of short umbrella-carrying women. And because umbrellas aren't actually good at keeping you dry, you have to carry them almost sitting on top of your head, which obstructs your vision, leading to you walking into other short women like myself. I always get nervous I'll loose a eye.
  4. They totally suck in the wind, and when it's raining that is most of the time. When it is windy, not only will your umbrella not keep you dry, but it will also become inverted and become less than useful. Just today on my way to school I saw a hotel bellman struggling with an inverted umbrella and just as he was trying to right it again his little bellman hat blew off and started charging down the sidewalk. Had he not been struggling with the crappy umbrella, he would have still had on his hat and not had to run down the street after it.
  5. Many people lack proper umbrella etiquette, especially people with giant golf umbrellas. Two people will be walking down the street in opposite directions, both with umbrellas, and the oversized-umbrella person will edge the smaller umbrella carrier off the sidewalk and into a giant puddle. I really and truly saw this happen once and the girl with the enormous umbrella even gave smaller-umbrella lady a dirty look, as if it was her fault the two umbrellas brushed against each other on the crowded sidewalk. I was like, "Seriously?!?!" This whole thing could have been avoided if they were just wearing decent rain coats with hoods. My hood has never knocked anyone off the sidewalk.
So in conclusion, the next time it rains, throw away your umbrella, which is probably broken anyway from being flipped inside-out by the wind a million times, and get yourself to REI for something that will actually keep you dry: a rain jacket.

I should clarify though, as I do not hate all umbrellas, just rain umbrellas. I happen to think beach umbrellas are quite nice. They provide a colorful way to get some protection from the sun and also a great way to identify your spot to any friends that you might be meeting there.

Monday, March 8, 2010

T Drivers Who Close the Doors on Your Arm

This morning I jogged to catch the train and right as I got to the door the T driver closed it. So I jogged over to the other car, whose driver promptly closed the door on my arm. JERKS!

Friday, February 26, 2010

All the People in my Building Who Shower at the Same Time as Me

My apartment building was constructed in the 1960s. Just ask my seafoam green bathroom. I'm pretty sure the boiler is the original one, so whenever too many people shower at the same time, the hot water becomes rather sparse. So, to all the people in my building who shower a little after 7am, I hate you. I am tired and not happy to be awake. I have to go to lab where my experiment is likely to fail. I have already tripped over one of my slippers, I have no clean clothes, and I just remembered I forgot to finish the reading for my 9am class. All I want to do is get into a warm shower and wake up to the delicious scent of my shampoo. But no. All of you have decided to shower at the same moment, so even though I have the water turned to a setting that is normally scalding, the water is still tepid at best. So thanks for making the start to my day worse than it already is. I don't know who you are, so I can't give you dirty looks when we're checking our mail or at the next condo association meeting, but you can bet I am wishing very nasty things to happen to you while I take my lukewarm shower.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Field and Stream Magazine

Somehow I got on the email list for Field and Stream magazine. Their website advertises that the magazine is about "Hunting, Fishing, Survival, Guns and Gear." Not only do I not hunt or fish, but I don't even eat anything that is hunted or fished. I'm really not their target demographic. I asked to be removed from the mailing list but I have continued to receive emails from them about once a month. It's not particularly irritating, especially since they are relatively infrequent and Gmail now puts them in my spam, but it just seems like an intrusion and I shouldn't have to opt out multiple times. So now I hate Field and Stream (as if I was such a fan before).

Jessie (the research assistant in my lab) said that potentially someone signed me up as a joke and then forgot they signed me up and forgot to laugh about it, so if anyone ever reads this and it was you, please tell me. I promise not to write a hate entry about you.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Double Parking

I hate double parkers. Seriously. What a selfish act. Whatever the fine is for double parking, it is obviously not large enough because people do it all the time. If the punishment for being double parked was losing a digit, no one would double park.

Anyone who lives in Allston/Brighton/Brookline that has to drive downtown in the mornings knows that Comm Ave is the worst for double parkers. FedEx, USPS, electricians, random people, taxis, delivery trucks, moving vans, more random people... you can't drive in the right lane because every block has someone double parked and blocking the lane, but you can't drive in the left lane because of the people turning left and clogging up that lane... it's such a horrible drive. And if you are on a bike, you are just toast, because the drivers are now more angry than usual, so even if you are obeying traffic laws (like you should be since you are a vehicle! but that hate is a different entry for another day), they will try to hit you because someone else blocked their way.

Another thing I hate about double parking, is this: you get stuck behind someone who is double parked, so you put on your blinker and wait for traffic in the next lane to clear. Then the person behind you pulls out into the next lane to pass, even though you clearly had your blinker on and wanted to move into that lane. UGGHHH that makes me so angry. OBVIOUSLY I wanted to turn. I even had my blinker on, you JERK!

I have decided that I would be a terrible police officer because I would see someone double parked and just yell at them for being a selfish a-hole. "Do you realize that you are disrupting traffic for the 100 cars behind you?? Do you realize that you just made their days a little worse because you couldn't be troubled to go find yourself a parking space on the next block? Do you realize that I'm going to have to chop off your pinky toe now???" Okay maybe that last question would only come into play if I was a police officer and ruler of the world. But then again if I ruled the world we would also get free cookies on Friday. So not only would no one double park (unless they had no hands or feet, in which case they probably wouldn't be driving anyway) but we'd also be munching on some free Oreos. The world would be a much better place.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

People who Stand Right in Front of Elevator Doors

This is the hate that started it all.

I work on the 9th floor of my building, so I use the elevator on a daily basis. I use it to go up and down and I often use the elevator several times in a day if I need to go to a different building to go to class or to pick up some lunch or go to the library or whatever. I think there are a lot of people out there who are just like me, who use elevators on a somewhat regular basis. So it never fails to astound me that some people don't know how to use elevators.

I continually see people waiting for the elevator and then once the little bell rings to signal the car has arrived, the person walks up to the doors and stands directly in front of them. This effectively prevents anyone on the elevator from getting out because the doorway is blocked. Then, when you try to exit, the person blocking the doorway rolls their eyes and steps to the side and then both of you are annoyed. This whole interaction could have been avoided, however, if people just did not stand directly in front of the elevator. It doesn't take any extra time to stand 3 feet to the left of the doorway. Trust me. Plus, these people are forgetting that they will be in the opposite role in 30 seconds!

So, people, please do not block the doorway to the elevators. It's annoying, irritating, stupid and it makes me hate you.